Funny & Sarcastic Poems/Lyrics
A Hockey Poem:
Is the incredible stink of hockey equipment a badge of toughness, of working hard…well here’s a poem to put this one away.
Poem, Joke: Alright, I wrote this as a joke for my husband. He finds my poetry too deep, so I decided to dedicate this “simple” poem to him. Ha! Ok, he laughed. I mean really! when I have to create a grade school poem for the hubster to appreciate it…I give up. Not. So this is for the man of my dreams *ahem*.
Wash the damn car Seal the driveway Clean the air filters Empty the vacuum bag Cut the frigging grass Organize the garage Paint See that chair, don’t sit in it. The dishes are piling up, let’s get ‘er done. But wait, it’s raining, get the clothes off the line, FAST. Look in the fridge, what […]
I’m gonna tell you all their wicked little secrets wait til you hear this stuff *rubs hand in evil twist*.. I mean, since I don’t have to worry about them ever finding…THIS WEB PAGE! Payback’s a bee-ouch. You won’t believe what your eyes are about to smell hold on to your suntans and get ready, […]
45 years behind me I’m startin’, reachin’ for the dream I left my front porch crying Only tears of fear Then wiped my face To keep it crystal clear Your too old You’ll unfold They’ll laugh at your attempt Get back in the house! Cook a meal !! Don’t continue. Check the menu. The kids […]
Look up in the sky, “It’s a bird”, So what. “It has no wings!” Are you sure? “Yah, look, look, he only has a body and an orange beak!”, Hey you’re right. “He’s trying to say something, can you hear him?”, Wait, listen, I do hear him. “What’s he saying!” He’s telling me something, “What, […]
Held Hostage by Curls: Being a Curly Top all my life, and lover of the flat iron, I have finally come to terms with my locks. So there you have it, poetry about curly hair, and quite personal to my life as well. Held Hostage by Curls One protruding curl adorned her head till two, […]
A “Happy Birthday Acrostic Poem”: An Acrostic Poem is a poem where the first letter of each line spells a word vertically. Eventhough happy birthday is a fairly common poetry topic, writing a happy birthday poem in Acrostic format is pretty tricky. Give it a try. Happy Birthday Today Holding happy up, we cheer you […]
Give Me A Loan Today:: A “loaner moaner” tale with a happy ending, and lessons of responsible borrowing learned. Give Me A Loan Today! When he borrowed money yesterday afternoon his wife cheered, “we’ll get that new car pretty soon!” They danced in a circle then fell to the floor “hey maybe they can loan […]
Here’s an example of an Acrostic Poem using the words “Find Music Lyrics”: With an Acrostic Poem, the first letter of each line spells a word that can be read vertically. Find Music Lyrics Finding our life in the words of a song never-ending stories depicting yesterdays gone Meaningful lyrics used to touch inside hearts […]
Poem about Fat Loss! – Kiss your butt goodbye, poetically speaking… This is a loss I will accept goodbye to fat without regret turns-out all is not okay, as I heard a voice in the distance say, “hey you!, yah you, where’s our wiggle, we don’t bounce, sag, or jiggle!” “Who’s that” I asked completely […]