Watch & Listen to “Kiss My Assets” – Another collaboration of work – Written by me (Barbara Tremblay Cipak (aka Drageda) and Elvis Proctor)- It’s an original sarcastic Country Song about a guy who couldn’t get a girl, was ignored and laughed at..until he won the lottery: The Lyrics are below and the video created to it is above, take a listen!
If you’re an Artist interested in this song, please contact me by posting below, or you can contact our Publisher for this song, Nashville Song Service. However, you’ll need to be sure to be specific in their comment box that you’re interested in “Kiss My Assets” by Barbara Tremblay Cipak and Elvis Proctor.
And, hey, thanks for listening to…. Kiss My Assets!
(VERSE 1)
Just to think last night you laughed at me
Said poor white trash is all I would ever be
You wouldn’t waste your so precious time
I’m on a dead-end road,you can see the signs
You say you’re busy when I call your phone
Even had your brother tell me to leave it alone
You wouldn’t believe how I was so depressed
I spent my last dollar at the convenient express
I was wondering since I haven’t been around
Could you hear me laughing,on your side of town
(CHORUS)
3, 15, 27, 6, 19, 11
Missed my invite to your party
and apparently you think I can’t dance
“hit the road buddy”
think that’s what you said?
“you’ve two left feet,
no brain in that head”
think ya even wished me dead?
3, 15, 27, 6, 19, 11
my ticket “a done come’in”
shoulda heard that terminal sing…
bought the Dance Hall, the Flower Shop,
and Alvin’s Funeral Home,
sent you an invite to my
“If I were Dead Party”…
just planning ahead is all,
‘case I slip and fall…or some’in
thought you could help me
pick out my casket
so come on over, it’s all good,
too tired to help?
then just Kiss My Assets!
(VERSE 2)
You wouldn’t give me the time of day
Now you hang on every word I say
Every girl on my block wouldn’t speak
Now I get flowers every day of the week
No-one would give me a ride in their car
Now I have a limo, “hot damn I’m a star!”
You want to know if You can hang out too
Well its funny, I don’t have any time for you
(BRIDGE TO FINAL CHORUS)
but wait! let me check my schedule
maybe I can fit you in,
I can see you at 3:15 in 2027
or 6:19 in 2011
I’ve hit the road
gone searching for brains
so forgive me, I’m a little booked up
busy hosting “if I were dead parties” and such
just planning ahead is all,
‘case I slip and fall…or some’in
are ya having any regrets yet?
well just buckle up and pucker up
cause honey
you can Kiss My Assets!
I’m leaving this party
I’m out of this town
I’m not your play thing
I’m not your friend
Being true to me first
Means I’ll love again
This story of mine waits for me
To create the middle and the happy end
Since you took the beginning
there’s one thing I control
that’s this journey,
and what I see around that bend
I dance and cry
Does that make sense
No it doesn’t!
One moment I’m spent
The next I’m beginning again
The tango of my life
The tears of my song
Bring me along this journey
a million miles
so long, so long, so long
to this world of wrong
Driving a million miles away from you
Makes me true
True to me, And what’s ahead
Yesterday I fell, I cried, I lied,
Today
I drive, I drive, I drive
Away from you
Where I know I’ll find me,
I’m sad
I’m scared
I’m lonely
And you know
I’m anxious to know where
This road leads
With the dust behind me,
And the sun above,
I’m ready,
I’m moving on
Don’t cry
Cause I’ve stopped
And what use to be tears
are sunshine spots
little specks of hope
all dried up
they’ve taught me to cope
to push on, to see around the corner
to dream of what’s ahead
to leave my past behind…
enough said!!!
it’s time to drive, a country mile,
a long country mile,
time to look ahead
time to say one more thing…
see ya bye, the end!
(VERSE)
In 1950 grandpa whined at the price of our new house
“for $8450 dollars I’m sure I could by all of California and
can’t believe they want 18 cents for a gallon of gas”
when he coughed up $1500 for that Old Chevy
he kneeled down to me and said,
“little girl, it never used to be like this, a man
could get ahead, don’t you be lazy girl, cause the world’s
half gone crazy girl”
(CHORUS)
Grandpa would spit
he might do more than spit
if he knew gas costs $4 bucks a gallon
Grandpa might take that car salesman out back
who asked for 20 Grand
and the bank taking back houses and repossessing land
would send Gramps out lookin’ for some necks to ring
and I know he would wanna go back to a time
when Crazy was King,
(VERSE)
That first apartment in the city
momma helped me pick furniture out
“ridiculous rent, she mumbled shocked and scratched her head”
you’re living high on the hog for someone starting out
then she turned to me and said,
“young lady, it never used to be like this, a person
could get ahead, don’t you be lazy girl, cause the world’s
half gone crazy girl”
(CHORUS)
Mamma would spit
heck she might do more than spit
if she knew apartments can rent now for $1500 Bucks
Crap that’s what grandpa’s Chevy cost!
and she never saw $4 Bucks a gallon
and the bank taking back houses and repossessing land
would send Momma lookin’ for more necks to ring
I know she’d wanna go back
to when Crazy was King,
(VERSE)
Went shopping with my son for his $50 dollar sneakers
I said boy, you really need a good job, cause this is
some mighty expensive rubber you’re puttin’ on your feet,
and you don’t like things cheap, and turned to him and said,
“young man, it never used to be like this, a person could get
ahead, don’t you be lazy boy, cause the world’s half gone crazy boy,
(CHORUS)
He said, “Momma you would spit
these are the cheapest shoes
not the expensive brand!”
and you see that strip mall over there,
someday I’m gonna buy that piece of land
and that’s no joke,
and yes Momma the price would make you choke!
Can someone take me back
to when grandpa bought that house
I wanna drive in that Chevy
swim for nothing in that Levy
cause I want to be queen again
When Crazy was King!
By Barbara Tremblay Cipak Song Lyrics about inflation, and the changing generations
(VERSE 1)
This is the story of love gone wrong
A lover’s lament This couple’s dreaded song…
She walked through the door
Her foot hit the floor,
said, “I can’t take no more, I’m GONE!”
Every apple and orange doesn’t get along
listen to the tale written in this song
(CHORUS)
He drank He lied He womanized
His pants were really oversized
She said my love is dead inside…
She didn’t even patronize
looked him straight between the eyes
said kiss my heart shaped a** goodbye
then turfed him on his levis…
now he’s hangin’ with his barflies
(VERSE 2)
She’s not missin him, not one little hair,
Her house isn’t empty,
he was never REALLY there!
The only thing she’s missing
“13 cases of beer”
Did he love her once?
She’ll never ask again,
It’s irrelevant when
He won’t change or make amends
(CHORUS)
He drank He lied He womanized
His pants were really oversized
She said my love is dead inside…
She didn’t even patronize
looked him straight between the eyes
said kiss my heart shaped a** goodbye
then turfed him on his levis…
now he’s hangin’ with his barflies,
to this day drinkin’ he denies!
(VERSE 3 & CHORUS END)
Safe to say, she’s better today,
She lives in her quiet ways.
Been dating a few
All things feel new
and fortunately
she hasn’t met one quite like…
“You Know Who” …
Who drank Who lied Who womanized
Who’s pants were always oversized!
Who was really good at telling lies,
Now her butt no longer says goodbye…
So long to him in this farewell song
A kiss bah-bye to love gone wrong..
By Barbara Tremblay Cipak, Copyrighted
Song Lyrics for a Country Song – Actually, written as fiction in that I can’t say I personally know anyone who has gone through this, thank goodness. Of course people have though, so this is dedicated to those have endured, or are enduring, a similar tale.
Willing to Collaborate with Artists - If Interested in Lyrics, Contact Barbara Tremblay Cipak at 416-566-0643 or barbara@drageda.com - Author of Song Lyrics, and Poetry, and creator of related Videos on Drageda.com - Thank you!