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Don’t Take My Flipper Away

Filed in Funny & Sarcastic Poems/Lyrics, Funny Family Poetry by on April 24, 2009 0 Comments • views: 2372

Poem, Sarcasm: OK, ladies, I wrote this for you!.. This is for every woman who suffers from “LOATTRC” (lack of access to the remote control).

Actually, I was thinking about my father and mother and my husband and myself and how control of the “remote” usually becomes the sole possession of the “male” in the house!

Statistics indicate the highest demographic now using the internet is middle-aged women. Do we really need high-paid statisticians to analyze this..puh-leeeeze…

OK, this is for all the rocket scientists out there..listen up..”it’s because men are hogging the remote.” Women have given up. We are now sitting in living rooms with laptop computers, keeping our thighs warm while hubby flips channels to his heart’s content. Occasionally we peek up to enjoy 20 seconds of a program, but we know we will never see the entire show, and gawd forbid we tell our husbands to leave it on one channel for a minute, that “stare” we get is suppose to put us in our place. We’re shivering in fear. Not.

Of course, you know I mean this all in jest; however, within all this sarcasm are some fundamental truths! …do you hear that…the simultaneous clacking of computer keyboards worldwide..the advantage will be ours. We can watch movies on our laptops with headphones on. The last laugh is ours!

Don’t Take My Flipper Away

There he sits!
He constantly Flips!
The channels buzz by my brain!
My hand reaches over to grab the controller
he barks! “don’t touch my claim”!

I’m not only furious,
but just a bit curious
how the flipper became his possession!
Some say I tolerate his gimmies due to cupid
while others insist I’m just plain stupid!
But that’s OK. I began to pray
He can have it every day,
he said,
When I leave him,
“take the car, take the house,
take the furniture too,
just don’t take my clicker away”

Being the generous sort,
I didn’t retort
I just gave him my sole plea
I’m worried about you,
it’s all that you do,
So when I left I took the house,
the car AND THE TV!

Although he has no hair,
just the clicker and his chair
the clicker is his to keep!
Old expressions ring true
be careful won’t you,
we often sow what it is that we reap!

by Barbara Tremblay Cipak

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