This is dedicated to my mom. I love her with all my being … forever til the end of time, and time never ends
She’s always been there for me, and fortunately, as I’m writing this, she still is. We lost my dad several years ago, and he’s in our thoughts every minute. We miss him so much; it’s painful. He was a huge personality. I’ve been blessed with wonderful parents, and many people have reminded me about how lucky I am.
So although, I’m the mom of four sons, if I had given birth to a daughter, thanks to my wonderful parents, this is the heads-up I’d give her from day one:
Message for a Daughter: Dedicated to My Step-Daughter (and my Son’s too)
1. BE KIND to OTHERS, BUT BE KIND to YOURSELF
That means, don’t compromise your values to be around people who are willing to compromise YOUR values – honesty, integrity, character,
2. BE HONEST with YOURSELF
Go through life knowing your own truth; what makes you happy, what upsets you, what makes you sad, the virtues you hold in high regard. Being honest with yourself simply gives you the tools to choose wisely in life – choices like who you’ll date, who you choose to marry, the friends you allow in your life. Be aware that there are people who will try to take advantage of you and some may even try to steal your ‘good’ energy – better known as, “energy vampires”. Though these types exist, remember, there are a lot of very good people in the world as well – more than there are bad.
3. LOVE with ALL YOUR HEART, BUT…
Know who deserves to hold your heart. You’ll know this by remembering point number 2 at all times.
4. YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT
Educate yourself. Continue to learn no matter your age. Learn new things, be open to new ideas by continuously seeking that PhD in life.
5. RESPECT YOURSELF
That doesn’t mean you get to disrespect others in the process. It means that your needs, concerns and values matter and you should always remember that by respecting those needs and values, others will mirror you and more than likely respect you for it.
6. SET HIGH STANDARDS
Set high standards for yourself and high standards for others, BUT don’t make those standards unreachable, and avoid the ‘pit of judgement’ as that’s a spiralling vortex that will suck you in as fast as it sucks your own energy. There’s no faster death than ‘death by judgement’.
7. MAKE YOUR CONTRIBUTION in this LIFE by LEARNING YOUR PURPOSE
How do you learn your purpose? It’s hard for most of us to figure out our purpose. Think long and hard about what you’re HONESTLY passionate about in life, what your TRUTH is, and where it grows.
Here’s an example: People tend to jump on bandwagons…someone says, “oh, I could never do that, that’s scary and not my thing” then other people jump in with “me too” – and before you know it, you find yourself agreeing with things that you don’t really agree with! Be aware that you can safely say, “you know what, I think I might be able to do that” while others are shouting at the top of their lungs, ‘no way…that can’t or shouldn’t be done’. Finding your purpose and making your contribution requires deep soul searching…so do it, then take action, and get started.
8. YOU DON’T Have to BE SATISFIED With JOBS You HATE!
If you find yourself in a profession or job that you absolutely hate, and feel completely trapped by it, you CAN PLAN your WAY OUT. The operative words are..’plan your way out’. If finances are prohibiting you from quitting, then get to planning your way out! Start today.
9. BE as FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT as YOU CAN, WHILE YOU CAN
Various cultures have different ways of looking at a woman’s independence. But in the western world there’s no reason for you to build your life around being financially dependent on another person. However, if YOUR TRUTH tells you otherwise, or circumstances dictate otherwise, then go with that…but be sure it’s YOUR TRUTH and not the truth of others infecting your ideals. Also, when we become Moms and start running a house, working outside the home may or may not be possible. Just be aware that being a stay at home mom has a professional equivalence of earning over $100,000 per year. So KNOW your value, and don’t forget to teach your kids that there is value in anything they do … including managing the kids and the home.
10. TEACH YOUR DAUGHTERS All of the ABOVE
If you find yourself mastering some of the above points, be sure to teach your girls…pass your knowledge along and listen to the life lessons of other successful women in this world.
Love life, and even when it’s hard, remember to smile anyway. Martina McBride says it perfectly in her gorgeous song ‘Anyway’.
I’ve written a song for my mom, it’s here (sometimes the bandwidth is maxed out, hope it’s not if you want to hear it!)