A widow reflects on losing her spouse and the quiet strength it takes to carry on each day. **Listen on Spotify, iTunes, or Amazon:** iTunes & Amazon are affiliate links. (COMING SOON TO STREAMING)
THE ONE WHO GOES FIRST (Lyrics)
(INTRO VERSE)
For many decades together
We built a beautiful life
today I’m without you
I kissed you one last time
(VERSE 1)
You said you wanted to go first
You said living without me would be the worst
we pushed those sad thoughts aside
we were young, enjoying life,
just glad to be alive,
we had nothing but time
safely on our side
(CHORUS)
I don’t know how to do this,
left here all alone
I sense you all around me
in every corner of our home
you were right all along
to be the one who goes first
because being here without you
is the absolute worst
(VERSE 2)
I sort through your things
pressing your shirts against my face,
Breathing in your scent
that will forever fill our place
Screaming in your pillow
I gaze into the abyss
not caring about what’s next
because it’s our life I’ll always miss
(PRE CHORUS)
For many decades together
We built a beautiful life
today I’m without you
I kissed you one last time
(CHORUS)
I don’t know how to do this,
left here all alone
I sense you all around me
in every corner of our home
you were right all along
to be the one who goes first
because being here without you
is the absolute worst
(BRIDGE)
It’s crazy to me
how once you were here
and now you’re just not
wrapping my mind around that
consumes my every thought
because I know you want me to,
I move on from feeling lost
by putting one foot in front of the other,
and giving it everything I’ve got
(CHORUS OUTRO)
But part of me is forever missing
I’ll always save that space for you
I have no desire to fill it
It holds everything I knew
I’ll go there now and then
until we meet again
thank you for this life we shared
for being my lover and my friend
🎵 I write and produce story-driven lyrics. Vocals and music are digitally produced (I am not the singer). I digitally direct and arrange the video and recording.🎵 ©2026 DragedaPoemsLyrics (B.T.C) – All Rights Reserved – Original Lyrics Authored | Sound Recording: Produced With Digital Assistance (Vocals and Instrumental) 2026. Licensed Digital Composition (Commercial Rights Held). SOCAN Member.
THE STORY BEHIND THE LYRICS:
When I sat down to write these lyrics, my original intention was to capture the profound loss experienced by seniors after the death of a spouse they’ve shared decades of life with. Having never experienced the loss of my own husband, I knew I couldn’t write from personal experience alone. I needed to find a place of truth.
That truth came from my parents.
When my father passed away before my mother, there was only one place I wanted to be: back in our family home, sitting beside my mom. My husband lovingly stayed home with our children and took care of everything so I could spend those first difficult months with her.
My mother was a proud woman who rarely wore her emotions on her sleeve. In many ways, she was my opposite. Yet during those months, she shared feelings with me that I will never forget. The words that have stayed with me all these years were, “It feels like someone cut off half my body.”
My father was larger than life. He was funny, outgoing, kind, and deeply loved by everyone who knew him. Watching my mother learn how to exist without him wasn’t simply heartbreaking. It was witnessing someone’s entire world shift beneath their feet after building a lifetime together.
Although these lyrics are not about my own loss, every word comes from a real place. They were written from the privilege of walking beside my mother through one of the hardest chapters of her life and trying to honor what she shared with me.
My mother has since passed away, and I find comfort in imagining my parents together again. It brings me peace.
If you are living through the loss of your husband, wife, or lifelong partner, my heart is with you. Sending you love, blessings, and a heartfelt hug.
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