Funny Sayings About Breaking Up

So you’ve broken up with someone, and you need a few ‘light’ words to joke about it. That’s what you’ll find here. Perhaps you’d like to text something humorous to a friend who’s recently suffered a breakup, or even better, is glad they’ve ended the relationship.

51 Funny Sayings About Breaking Up

1. So you’re no longer attached at the hip; best weight loss program you ever went to!

2. That’s the light at the end of your crazy endless tunnel!
3. He’s gone and now you’re back – Thank goodness!
4. You haven’t lost a love, you gained a brain
5. Don’t cry, because it’s never really over – that’s crap, lucky for you it’s really over!
6. So she’s no longer in your life – celebrate the freedom!
7. When you hurt from love, 1000 pushups will fix that
8. Don’t quit on love; the right person is now free to find you!
9. You are never alone, I’ll be there with you through the whole ordeal, I’m coming over with booze
10. He was a lying cheating bastid, and you were too good for him!
11. You know you’re done in a relationship when walking out the door brings relief!
12. Smile, kiss him goodbye then come over for that happy dance!
13. It’s hard to leave someone you’ve been with for so long, but better to leave and be sane than to stay and be insane
14. To leave or not to leave that was the question – glad YOU FINALLY answered it!
15. It’s scary to move on, I think it’s like ‘scary movie’
16. I’m terrified now that I’ve left; I’ve never felt better in my life
17. It’s over and I know I can’t fix it – I’m not the fixer of people anymore
18. Apparently I don’t ‘do people very well’
19. I’m good with numbers, and the numbers tell me it’s time to leave
20. If I ever lose my way again, slap me
21. As my friend I give you permission to scan all my dates
22. I thought you should know that this breakup has made the news, the world is having a party for you!
23. Celebrate the next chapter of your life; forget that, cry first it’s healthier
24. New things, new adventures, new people, beat out old things, old adventure and old rotten relationships anytime
25. The fruit on your tree can now grow again (since you’ve cut out the useless branches)
26. He’s hit the road, too bad it’s without his car – you look good behind the wheel
27. Hope you divided your belongings 50/50 and kept 100% of your mind
28. Don’t tell anyone you’re single, too many people want to date you now
29. Congratulations on being brave; most of us are too chicken to leap
30. To think you moved on in life is quite shocking, I’m actually jealous
31. You get to go out and meet new people now; way to make me feel bad!
32. I want to be sad for you, cause you’re sad, but let’s face it I’m just plain jealous
33. They say breaking up is hard to do; how come you were able to do it so easily?
34. I don’t think there is anyway to tell you this without hurting your feelings; but wow, are you ever better off without him!
35. I know your sad, I’m here for you; and am trying not to be happy for you so you can be sad!
36. Being single means a lot of wonderful things are free to come your way, so put your glasses on and pay attention so you can grab a few this time!
37. If you think it’s easy being single, just ask Kermit how easy it is to be green?
38. You’re no longer part of two, your just a strong single one now, and that’s awesome!
39. You took the plunge to go with him, and now you’re getting out of that pool to dry off – that swim was long enough girl!
40. Jump into a new boat now, but this time you drive!
41. If you think you’re sad, you are, if you think you’re better off, you are – choose wisely!
42. Don’t feel sad my friend, breaking up is what makes us free to make more mistakes
43. Break ups are like good china, some pieces can’t be put back together because they’ll never look the same – so do yourself a favor, toss the pieces in the trash and get new plates!
44. Sometimes the hardest thing to do in life is the hardest thing to do in life – there’s just no other way to say it
45. Welcome back to earth! we missed you.
46. Your head is no longer in the clouds which means you can now see where you’re going!
47. Pay attention; you’re not lost from this breakup, you’re only open to being found once again
48. When you don’t know where you’re going, you get to choose between all sorts of roads!
49. A clear head is much better than an aching heart
50. You may be lonely today, but I guarantee a year from now you’ll look back and wonder what you were thinking by waiting for so long to break up
51. Some people just aren’t meant to be together, and it takes someone like you who’s brave enough to see that and do something about it! You’re my hero cause you’ve got a pair

Note: Quote Sayings Not for Commercial Use