25 Funny Things to Write in a Driving Test Card

Oh no, they’ve gotten their driver’s license.

Instead of taking out an Ad to give all the other drivers a heads-up, add a little humor in a congratulations card. You’ll find a few smart-@ss blurbs below to scribble in a card. You’ll be forgiven if you include a gift or cash or somethin’.

You’re happy for them, but at the same time, your first instinct is to warn everyone.

Go ahead and use these in a personal card to let the new driver know what you think, in a friendly way, if that’s possible. Customize them to suit your personality, or use them as is.

25 Funny Things to Write in a Driving Test Card

1. You passed! Did you bribe the instructor?
2. I alerted the traffic chopper that you passed…they’ve entered your car into their GPS
3. The first thing to do with your new driver’s license, my grocery shopping
4. Now that you’re officially a new driver, I’m taking the bus
5. So I was wondering if you could email me before you drive anywhere; I’ll start a prayer chain
6. I have faith in your skills – I’m currently reading The Power of Positive Thinking
7. Don’t worry; driving is easy; it’s dealing with crazy people that’s hard
8. If I could wish one thing for you as a new driver, it would be that you reach your destination safely – actually that..and also that others who pass you reach theirs!
9. You have your driver’s license!! Why am I a wreck?
10. Congratulations on being an official member of the rat race – now you can drive alongside all of us fools
11. I know you’re going to be a great  driver; you’re related to me
12. You’ve passed the big test in life, figures; you’re as close to perfect as ever
13. You don’t know how to fail – no surprise you passed this test too
14. I want to be supportive and say I’m so happy that you passed your driver’s test, but truthfully, I’m scared **itless for the rest of us
15. You are one of the best drivers I know, so  I’ll bet you graded the instructor too!
16. So just because you have a piece of paper in your wallet that says you can drive doesn’t mean I have to like it!
17. Congratulations on getting your driver’s license! It’s awesome that you’ll be on the road behind such a powerful machine – waving white flag
18. It’s not how you drive; it’s who you drive…crazy.
19. I wanted to buy you something really special to celebrate your latest milestone; here’s a helmet for your passengers
20. Drive with full confidence because anything less scares the crap out of anyone in your car
21. Finally! Finally! Finally! You have your driver’s license, and we are all celebrating this major event in your life…there’s life in them-there-hills!
22. Don’t worry. You don’t have to  take the test again ’til you’re 80 (we hope)
23. Now get the hell out of the house and drive, drive, drive
24. New drivers are like new babies, except  we don’t have to feed you and change your pants (just our own when you scare the crap out of us)
25. It’s officially done. The world has come to an end. You’re legal to drive. Lord, help us.

Gift Idea on Amazon for a New Driver – *Associate: earns commissions